This is my fourth wedding to Barry and it's going to be our last, thank you. For most of my relatives and local friends from junior and high school, this is the only one of my weddings they will see. Usually a bride feels more or less that she is being adopted into her husband's family at a wedding and also that it's a time to thank her parents for raising her to that point. Since Barry is somewhat special (being a foreigner, and all), I didn't feel like it was a family marriage as much. I liked that. 
I have always wanted to wear a wedding kimono and katsura (wig), but not anymore. Choosing the kimono was the funnest part of the whole kimono process. These days the katsura is so much lighter than years back I heard, but it has springs inside to squeeze your brain to hold it on tight. You can't move your head because it's heavy and you don't want to screw up your head pieces. After having my hair done, I was moved to the tatami room and told to just stay still like a doll. Two assistants dressed me in one layer over another (including a layer of cotton and towels around my body to flatten my curves so that I look like an electricity pole, as we say in Japan). The groom is usually not allowed to see his bride yet, but Barry is again so special that he could watch, and even videotape, me getting dressed. By the time the two assistants were pulling the obi (the silk sash around my waist) really tight around me, I couldn't move at all or even breathe. Then I realized why all brides look quiet, well behaved and conservative. I was worried if I would be able to act like a traditional bride, but there was no problem! I couldn't even lift my arms. 
We stood before a gold paper screen in the hallway to welcome our guests. Barry looked very nice in hakama (men's kimono), maybe because he has dark features and he's about average size for a Japanese. Barry bowed to welcome our guests. I tried really hard to smile to the guests but I was too stiff. Strangely, at this time I recalled a lesson in school how in the olden days Chinese women's feet were bound so that they couldn't walk and escape from their husbands. Barry led me into the banquet room and I followed him like an obedient wife (Hah!) accompanied by traditional music that my dad picked out. When we were entering the room I tried to lift my kimono front a bit so that I could walk, but it was soooo heavy it was hard just to hang on to it. I wasn't sure if I could reach our seats at the front of the room, it was so heavy. Fortunately, I had a personal maid to guide and rearrange me after I sat down. 
Japanese weddings are filled with speeches. First, my uncle, as a guest of honor, gave a speech. He talked about my family, my education and my history just like he was reading my resume to impress people. He also talked about Barry--where he came from and what he is like. Barry seemed to have made a good impression on my relatives. Maybe because he is friendly and he doesn't scare them. Barry's friend, former boss and mentor, Mark, then spoke about Barry. He spoke mostly in English so most of our guests couldn't understand him. Those who understood English laughed in the right places as Mark was telling us about Barry. But the others who didn't understand were laughing, too, because they didn't understand a thing. 
All this time, the hotel staff kept bringing food to our table but I couldn't eat anything because I couldn't lift my arms high enough to reach the food. Barry helped me eat a little. 
My brother, Koichi, was the videographer for this wedding. He did a great job. We also showed the video of our San Diego wedding on a screen in a corner of the room. Barry's brother edited it into a very professional work and people were impressed. They liked the Western-style ocean view ceremony because it was so romantic! 
Barry and I had to leave half-way through the ceremony to change into western clothes. While we were away, our guests enjoy karaoke time. Too bad we missed it all ;-) I was a little bit sad to take off my kimono so soon, but I couldn't wait to be free again. It took about 20 minutes to put on, but my assistants undid it all in 30 seconds. I had to wipe off my face and have my make-up and hair redone all at the same time. Then into my white dress. Barry's costume was a lot easier. 
I wore big, fluffy dress this time to please my parents. They wanted me to look like a regular Japanese bride--like a wedding cake. The one I got wasn't too bad, though. (I loved the dress I wore for my San Diego wedding very much, so please take a look at those pictures, too.) 
We entered the room in the Turkish manner, side by side and in step with Jeanne's exotic music. Jeanne led us around to each table to light the candles there. 
After we got seated at the front again, Jeanne's dance music started. Jeanne just took off and started to dance in the space between the tables, swinging her scarf and jingling the bells on her dress. For most of our guests, belly dancing is new, maybe a little shocking, and something they would never expect to see at a hiroen. 
Look at her glow! Jeanne's dance was composed of three movements--fast, slow and romantic, then fast again. Her dress was beautiful and sparkled with a thousand sequines. I heard that it weighs about 10kg. 
I love this photo with Jeanne's shadow on the wall and the expression on ojisan's face. It looks like they enjoyed her dance very much.
Barry was invited to dance with Jeanne. He easily got the rhythm and belly danced with her.
Barry grabbed me to join them but I couldn't dance freely in my fluffy dress. 
I had fun, though.
Then Barry signalled for my dad to dance with us. Of course, my dad is never shy in these situations. He got up and joined us as his friends cheered him on. My dad likes to be the clown at parties. He did his famous "octopus" dance at our San Diego reception, too. It's a little embarrassing. But a lot of people who know my Dad said I chose to marry a man just like him. Is this true? "A woman chooses to marry a man who is just like her Dad"?
I warned him weeks in advance, but I guess Barry forgot that he was supposed to give a little speech (in Japanese, of course). Here are some more photos with friends and family at the hiroen.
My friends from high school--Tae, Maki, Yuki--and junior high--Akiko. Akiko gave a nice speech and reminded me of our good times together in high school when I was much more naive. Yuki played the trumpet for us, a rousing jazzy number. Yuki and I played in the school band in junior high (I played flute). We were both pretty good, but she continued to develop her musical career and is now a professional trumpet player. 
This is my boss at the Stars & Stripes, John, with his wife, Teresa. John gave a nice speech and sang a karaoke tune for us. (He loves karaoke!) 
Mark Bossingham dressed in a suit, quite an event in itself! He tends to dress down even at work--cowboy boots, jeans and tee-shirts.
On the left is Braven who worked with Barry years ago at the Daily Yomiuri. On the right is one of my best friends in college, Hiroko.
This is Jeanne again, with her clothes on this time, and Cheryl, another of Barry's former co-workers at the Asahi. As you can see, our smile muscles were getting a little tired. Barry tried to "think Geek" like his best man Dexter told him at the San Diego wedding, but he just ended up looking like a geek. Oh, well. I still love him. (I guess that's why I married him four times!)
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